Do you think she lost hope and it wasn't just about family? please help me?

Hello well im new to this site so not sure how it works.,I met a woman 5 years ago in my work place Im 42 and she is 31 .She is a single mother of a 5 and a half year old boy.We were in a relationship for 4 years.We then broke up 3 months ago because her father died it wasn't only that she had siblings emigrating all year and some other problems another big factor i think was she lost hope in us as she thought we were not going to marry , im such an idiot!!!She couldn't cope with everything so i understood and we remained friends.I loved this woman and her son tremendously.We were living together for 3 years and she moved out of our home to live with her mother when her father passed away.I still wait for them both to come here again and move back in but i don't no what she wants anymore.When my world was falling apart she was always there to help me and visa versa.I adored her son and treated him as my own because i watched him grow into such a lovely boy.i loved her for who she was we had great respect for eachother and a faithful loving relationship.We meet up every weekend she still talks about her father ,i would have been there for her when he died but she wanted to be alone at the time.She is improving and we are great friends.I miss her and her son ,we had an amazing four years together and since we split i can't stop thinking of them.I really want them back in my life they are like my family now and i can't see myself with anyone else do i ask her that i want them back in my life?Or am i just being silly.Does our relationship sound as if we will never be together again.I considered in marring this women and im sorry i didnt ask her before christmas like i was going to but i did'nt know if the moment was right im really regreting in not proposing to her last christmas what do i do?